Wow. Here we are. We made it to Jensen's birth. All the unknowns are now known. I'm hurting so much but also can't wait to share my beautiful baby boy with the world.
2 weeks before my induction, we found out Jensen had flipped and was transverse (his back was down and over my cervix). This would mean I would have to have a c-section if he didn't flip by Monday, July 7th. He was such an active baby so there was definitely a possibility he would go head down again. The week before our induction, I just kept having this feeling that I was going to have a c-section due to his position. When we got to the hospital Monday morning, they did a quick ultrasound and he was head down. Part of me was happy but also part of me felt disappointed. I could have sworn all week, God was telling me I'd have a c-section. Oh well. This was good news as I was going to try and go unmedicated with 2 bereavement doula's by my side helping me. We had put on my birth plan that a c-section was our last option if we noticed that my life was at risk at any point during delivery.
We started Cytotec at 8am that morning as I was only dilated to 1cm. 4 hours later I was at a 3 and we started Pitocin. We slowly upped the Pitocin all day. About 9.5-10 hours later, around 10pm, after laboring all day and managing contractions, I was checked and still only at a 3. I was so disappointed but also knew that because of his diagnosis that there was going to be a harder time having Jensen's help to dilate me. My midwife and nurse sat there reviewing my options. We could keep doing what we were doing and up the Pitocin every 30 minutes. Mind you, Pitocin was already at 12 and the hospital would automatically cap it at 20. We could get an epidural and just turn up Pitocin or we could go for a c-section. I excused everyone from our room and just broke down to Caiden as I was unsure what I should do. Deep down I felt the need to get a c-section but it felt so counter-intuitive as it was the last option we wanted to happen. I wasn't worried about trying for a VBAC in the future, but to sign myself up for major surgery especially while knowing that Jensen was going to pass and that a funeral would be happening soon, it just felt like a lot.
I called my midwife and nurse back in and had them walk me through how the c-section would work and I told them about how I felt like I would have a c-section and my midwife was so supportive and reminded me to trust my intuition so we did. Within minutes, we were getting a new IV in and my OBGYN had gotten to the hospital. The anesthesiologist was in my room talking to me about the spinal block and the process of it all. Mentioned some nausea symptoms but that they would give me Zofran quick to help ease that if I were to feel that way *Spoiler Alert - I was SO nauseous.. like so nauseous* Before I knew it, our family was in our room and I was being wheeled away to the OR.
~We had my midwife record the whole surgery which is absolutely wild to watch and now helps me realize why I hurt so bad. Man that's intense stuff. I've gained a whole new respect for c-section mama's. Absolute rockstars~
A moment I'll never forget was when I heard my OBGYN say, "Hi!! Happy Birthday!!" I couldn't wait for them to pull down that curtain so I could see my beautiful boy! They showed him to us and he let out a few soft cries/squeaks and before I knew it he was laying on my chest. 9 months of carrying this baby boy, 4 months of that spent researching and preparing as much as possible for him to join us and have a million plans/back-up plans for all the unknowns. The doctors all told me Jensen was the boss and we would have to follow his lead in everything.
As I worked through another bout of nausea, I finally felt good and just stared at our baby Jensen that we had waited so long to meet. Here he was. Alive. I had them wrap him up and give him to Caiden to hold while they finished surgery. I was wheeled back into our room and within a few seconds, Caiden wheeled our boy in. We were welcomed by our families and boys and it was so special to share him with everyone.
Hour 1 with our boy. Surreal. Euphoric. Sacred.
Born at 11:15pm. 5lbs 9oz. 18 inches long
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